Following Christ English

"A time to seek, and a time to lose; There is a time to keep, and a time to throw away; Ecclesiastes 3.6 What more do our children need from us when they are sad? (1) Our honesty. They should know that we are also hurting. When they see you crying but you tell them, "I'm fine," they're confused. They think that either you are not feeling the pain, and the tears mean nothing, or you are not being real with them. They need to know the real you, so they can be real with you and trust you with their sorrows. (2) Our awareness of their feelings without being defensive about them. For them, as far as you are concerned, there is “a time to weep…mourn…lose” (vv. 4, 6 NKJV). God has made all these experiences "appropriate in their time" (v.11 NAS). Don't stifle or invalidate their sadness, anger, and depression. It's part of their God-given humanity, and will help them become balanced, compassionate adults. (3) Sensitive listening. Children l

There is a time to look for things and a time to stop looking, a time to keep things and a time to throw away things, Ecclesiastes 3:6  How can we help our children navigate life’s losses? (1) Don’t underestimate their capacity for grief. Children are often the “forgotten” grievers. Their pain is real and intense; recognize and validate it. (2) Don’t avoid talking about the loss when they’re present. Excluding them from adults in mourning denies them the opportunity for support, and increased understanding about their loss. Include them in the family’s collective grief experience. (3) Encourage them to share their feelings about the loss. Teach them that being “real” is more important than being “strong,” and confirm that their feelings matter. Very young children have limited understanding about the meaning, permanence, and irreversibility of death. They can only talk about it briefly and concretely. Older children understand its meaning and should be encouraged to talk ab

There is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pull up plants, Ecclesiastes 3:2 Researchers at the Colorado Institute of Grief offer us this helpful four-stage path to recovery. Stage one – Shock. Our initial response is one of denial and disbelief. “I can’t believe this is happening…it’s not real!” There is a numbing of our senses, a God-designed natural “anesthesia” that buffers the early blow and allows us time to gather our coping mechanisms. Stage two – Protest. We feel anger and resentment against God, yet we feel guilty for blaming Him. We may blame ourselves, the doctors, the patient, and question God’s love and faithfulness—even bargaining with Him. “If You will just do a miracle and bring them back, I will…” Stage three – Disorganization. Everything comes apart at the seams. The lifestyle we knew and loved unravels. The dreams we cherished evaporate. We feel hopeless, powerless, lost in a strange, empty universe. Secondary losses may l