How to appreciate an imperfect spouse. part–2

2) Accept the Reality of Human Marriage.

During a Sacred Marriage conference, a woman came up to me and said, “I have a very difficult marriage…”

“You don’t have to tell me you have a difficult marriage,” I answered. “That’s redundant!”

It took a while for what I was saying to sink in, but eventually, it did, and the woman smiled.

Because of the reality of sin, every marriage has difficult moments. We’re not marrying gods and goddesses! We’re marrying people that the Bible promises will stumble in many ways. How can that possibly be easy?

Once I accept that marriage is inherently difficult, I’ll no longer resent it when my marriage is difficult.

Disappointment and a lack of respect are often birthed out of unrealistic expectations. It’s not fair to compare your marriage to something you’ve seen in a movie or read about in a novel—that marriage isn’t real. And even if you see a marriage at church, you don’t know what’s really going on during less public moments.

Because of my occupation, I regularly speak to thousands of married couples, and I haven’t found a single one that has told me their marriage has been “easy.” Rewarding? Yes. Soul-forming? Absolutely. But easy? Never.

This understanding gives me great appreciation for my spouse, who is willing to engage in a difficult task with me. Even though it can be really hard, my wife has hung in there with me; we confess to each other, we forgive each other, and sometimes we have to learn to forget what each other did. What an amazing thing that another human being would do this with me instead of running away.

Note..We’re All in This Together.

Every one of us is married to an imperfect spouse. We confront different trials, different temptations, and different struggles—but each one of us faces the same reality: living as imperfect people, in an imperfect world, with an imperfect spouse. Learning to love, appreciate, and to be thankful for that imperfect spouse is one of the most soul-transforming things you can do. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s a profitable one, and I urge you to remain committed to it today.